Want or Need...What is best?

It seems that with every important choice there is always the distinction between what I want to do or what I need to do. I guess to really assess this situation, a discussion of what is a need and what is a want in this context, is in order.

In this context, the action that you need to take is generally the one you know is the best whether it be ethically the best or the most satisfying when considering morality. I like to think of it as the decision that will probably hurt the most and is in line with your value structure. My mother would say it is the answer that you know in your head which makes decisions based on logic and reason and generally devoid of emotion. So, why should a need be distinguished from a want? I will address more later but I think this is so because very rarely they are in agreement. Generally speaking, that are often polar opposites.

A want is what I like to call the heart's response to a situation. Wants are driven by desire. A desire for the thing that might feel is best for you physically but is more than likely only temporary gratification. Unfortunately, basing decisions on pure emotion can get you in serious trouble especially concerning matters of the heart. On many occasions, I find myself wanting to capitalize on what I want rather focusing on what is best. So far, I have been focusing on what is best which is a good thing but it is always a hard thing to do. I have had many friends who say to me, "whats wrong with doing what I want?" My response is generally, doing what you want will probably cause more strife once that feeling of temporary satisfaction goes away. Usually they don't listen and they come back to me a week or so later with the same problem but it has gotten a little more in-depth. These are good "I told you so" moments but when a friend is hurting, it is hard to joke with them about it.

I hope that my need and want descriptions are clear. The real question is why is there very rarely a happy marriage between what we want and what we need to do? As I reflect on my life, I am constantly asking myself this question. Why is it that there is such a divide between our head and our heart yet each delivers a compelling set of justifications which makes the choice almost impossible? I don't really have an answer except to say that from experience going with the head is generally the best course of action. It may hurt but in the end it makes the situation right because you treated it with respect and didn't let you judgment be clouded.

It is what it is.