So, I am back from homecoming somewhat saddened that I have yet to find friends as eclectically inclined and genuinely caring as those in which I have from undergrad. However going back to campus gave me a new perspective on my life as it stands today. I will get to this new perspective soon but I have some other things to express though.
Being at Ohio State was the greatest composition of formative experiences in my young life but I could never really figured out why I loved Ohio State so much. For some, its the social aspects, for others, it is the intellectual stimulation and for some, it is the access to a wide range of opportunities. For me, all of those things were a portion of why I love Ohio State but is not THE reason. Until this weekend, I did not know but now I do. At its core, Ohio State is inspirational and that is why I love being there. It was at Ohio State where I first to really feel that with hard work and attention to detail, I could do anything I put my mind to. In a certain degree I took this feeling for granted thinking that it was just a normal part of college and I did not realize that I had lost that passion and fire in the short 6 months since graduation. Stepping back on campus and talking to my friends really reminded me of this. I do not know what makes Ohio State so inspirational to the 50,000+ students and 300,000+ alumni that walk the planet but whatever it is, it spurs greatness. Now that I have been reminded, I am ready to make my Alma Mater proud with a new found vim and vigor.
With that brief prologue, the new perspective that I have gained is that the difference between being good and great is never simply a matter of intellect but rather a product of intellect, agility, and most importantly drive.
To be great you have to be smart but not in a conventional sense. Your intelligence must lie not in your ability to learn and regurgitate facts but in your ability to take abstract information, synthesize it and develop thoughts and ideas that are logical, useful, and substantial. Being overly intelligent in the context of the world as a whole, in my opinion, has diminishing marginal utility. There is a minimum intelligence hurdle that I believe all highly successful people must meet but anything after that is gravy and adds less and less value to your situation the smarter you become.
As important as possessing intelligence, agility of the mind is also just as important. The world today is constantly changing and those who are great are able to use their intellect to recognize the changes and be sufficiently agile to strategically realign their position to take advantage of the changing conditions. The classic example would the evolving game strategy for any major sports team. A coach will put a game plan in place based on the information given. The best coaches however do not solely stick to the plan. They watch the game and see what works and what doesn't, all the while changing the game plan to capitalize on the strengths of his/her team or the weaknesses of the opponent. The ability change in the wake of shifting conditions is tantamount to agility.
I would consider my first two variables in my equation to be additive while the third to be multiplicative. Drive and determination is what my mom would say gets you through when nothing is going your way and because of that, those who are great have a healthy supply of it. Drive is intangible and is only present when a person really values and cares about what they are doing. That is what makes drive so special. Drive is solely motivated by the agenda in which you are willing to indisputably stake the reputation of how you lived your life. In my opinoin, everyone has drive. For some, it is quite specific like incresaing quality of education through the development of a national curriculum and for others (like myself) it is probably quite vague like wokring hard and doing well because everything you do, represnts your family. It is just a matter of finding what drives you. Once what drives you has been indentified, aligning your work to achieve your task is the next big challenge. This is what I am struggling with today and as soon as I figure it out, the opportunities are endless but for now...
It is what it is.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Want or Need...What is best?
It seems that with every important choice there is always the distinction between what I want to do or what I need to do. I guess to really assess this situation, a discussion of what is a need and what is a want in this context, is in order.
In this context, the action that you need to take is generally the one you know is the best whether it be ethically the best or the most satisfying when considering morality. I like to think of it as the decision that will probably hurt the most and is in line with your value structure. My mother would say it is the answer that you know in your head which makes decisions based on logic and reason and generally devoid of emotion. So, why should a need be distinguished from a want? I will address more later but I think this is so because very rarely they are in agreement. Generally speaking, that are often polar opposites.
A want is what I like to call the heart's response to a situation. Wants are driven by desire. A desire for the thing that might feel is best for you physically but is more than likely only temporary gratification. Unfortunately, basing decisions on pure emotion can get you in serious trouble especially concerning matters of the heart. On many occasions, I find myself wanting to capitalize on what I want rather focusing on what is best. So far, I have been focusing on what is best which is a good thing but it is always a hard thing to do. I have had many friends who say to me, "whats wrong with doing what I want?" My response is generally, doing what you want will probably cause more strife once that feeling of temporary satisfaction goes away. Usually they don't listen and they come back to me a week or so later with the same problem but it has gotten a little more in-depth. These are good "I told you so" moments but when a friend is hurting, it is hard to joke with them about it.
I hope that my need and want descriptions are clear. The real question is why is there very rarely a happy marriage between what we want and what we need to do? As I reflect on my life, I am constantly asking myself this question. Why is it that there is such a divide between our head and our heart yet each delivers a compelling set of justifications which makes the choice almost impossible? I don't really have an answer except to say that from experience going with the head is generally the best course of action. It may hurt but in the end it makes the situation right because you treated it with respect and didn't let you judgment be clouded.
It is what it is.
In this context, the action that you need to take is generally the one you know is the best whether it be ethically the best or the most satisfying when considering morality. I like to think of it as the decision that will probably hurt the most and is in line with your value structure. My mother would say it is the answer that you know in your head which makes decisions based on logic and reason and generally devoid of emotion. So, why should a need be distinguished from a want? I will address more later but I think this is so because very rarely they are in agreement. Generally speaking, that are often polar opposites.
A want is what I like to call the heart's response to a situation. Wants are driven by desire. A desire for the thing that might feel is best for you physically but is more than likely only temporary gratification. Unfortunately, basing decisions on pure emotion can get you in serious trouble especially concerning matters of the heart. On many occasions, I find myself wanting to capitalize on what I want rather focusing on what is best. So far, I have been focusing on what is best which is a good thing but it is always a hard thing to do. I have had many friends who say to me, "whats wrong with doing what I want?" My response is generally, doing what you want will probably cause more strife once that feeling of temporary satisfaction goes away. Usually they don't listen and they come back to me a week or so later with the same problem but it has gotten a little more in-depth. These are good "I told you so" moments but when a friend is hurting, it is hard to joke with them about it.
I hope that my need and want descriptions are clear. The real question is why is there very rarely a happy marriage between what we want and what we need to do? As I reflect on my life, I am constantly asking myself this question. Why is it that there is such a divide between our head and our heart yet each delivers a compelling set of justifications which makes the choice almost impossible? I don't really have an answer except to say that from experience going with the head is generally the best course of action. It may hurt but in the end it makes the situation right because you treated it with respect and didn't let you judgment be clouded.
It is what it is.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Home is Where the Heart Is...
I have to first apologize to anyone who actually reads this blog for not writing in about a month. All of this moving and starting a new job has kept me somewhat occupied. Regardless, I should have blogged. Sorry.
Now that is done, let's get down to the topic that has been on my mind.
What really makes your home, your home?
When I first got to college home was St. Louis, MO. That is where I grew, my friends were, my immediate family resided, and was all that I knew. As college progressed, I found myself labeling vists to St. Louis as visiting my parents and labeling returning to Columbus, OH as returning home. Now that I have moved permanently to Midland, MI (at least for the foreseeabl;e future). My apartment is starting to feel more like home. I feel the most ease when I am in my apartment and resting on my loveseat. With all of this transformation, I find myself asking. What really makes your home, your home?
After talking to some of those people who made me feel that Columbus was my home, I came up with a few things that are essential to making any place feel like you are home.
1) Being with people that genuinely care for you - I think that regardless of where you are in life, everyone needs that group of people that will look out for them and support them in everything that they do. These people will also tell you when you are messing up and help you get through. These are also the people that you could call at 3am and know that they won't be upset.
2) Having a place where you feel the most at ease - Everyone has their safe haven. This is the place where they feel free to do what every they want and know that they will not be judged. For me, it is in my apartment. Maybe this is true because I know that it is my space and no one elses. I pay all of the bills, I live alone and I am responsible for everything that happens in that space and because of that, I feel a maximum level of comfort when I am there. For some people, a place of ease may not be the place where they rest their heads. For others it might be church, a community center, a band roon, an athletic field, and the list goes on an on. The one thing that is common is that everyone needs that place. Its a place where you can fully relax and think about your life. Being in my place of ease is so therapeutic. Without it I would go from the calm and casual guy that you know me as to the most stressed out person ever.
3) Having a vested interest in that area - This criteria is really more applicable to when you are labeling a general geographic region as home. For example, Midland, MI is now home for me. It is where I live and work so I have a vested interest in the community that I am in which contributes to the feeling of home. Some people may not like the regions in which they live but I believe that everyone in some way has interest in those places in which they reside. No matter of where you are, people have pride for the areas in which they live. In St. Louis, it was always a big thing to ask people what high school they went to, regardless or age, and no matter of how you personally felt about your school you would always represent for them because that school is apart of what makes you, you. This is exactly what I mean when I say a vested interest in an area. These places are what define your character and because of that, they hold a special palce in your heart and mind regardless of how you feel about the quality of life it provides.
I have heard many people say that home is much more than a geogrpahic location, this i believe to be true. However, I also believe that home must be grounded on some geographical foundation. I have heard people say that home is wherever my family or freidns are. To a certain extent this is true if you are saying this is where they reside or spend the majority of their time. However, the blanket statement of wherever they are is home is proposterous to me. If I am on vacation with my family, the hotel is not home. So by applying this restriction, home must be attahced to some real geographical location. The location that you all home may change from time to time but it is still a location and is part of what home really is.
After reveiwing some of the statements that I made, I ran into the thought that I can fulfill these criteria in multiple locations all at the same time. This is especially true now that my friends from high school and college are moving all across the country but I continue to stay in contact with them. As I was thinking though, home has a distinct combination of all three criteria that is unable to be reproduced in any other location. Because of this, home is home. I can have friends and fmaily in different parts of the world which makes that part special in its own right but its not home. It's not where I long for after a long day of work. It's not what I think to return to after an extended vacation. At the end of the day home is where I want to be and that makes home, home.
It is what it is.
Now that is done, let's get down to the topic that has been on my mind.
What really makes your home, your home?
When I first got to college home was St. Louis, MO. That is where I grew, my friends were, my immediate family resided, and was all that I knew. As college progressed, I found myself labeling vists to St. Louis as visiting my parents and labeling returning to Columbus, OH as returning home. Now that I have moved permanently to Midland, MI (at least for the foreseeabl;e future). My apartment is starting to feel more like home. I feel the most ease when I am in my apartment and resting on my loveseat. With all of this transformation, I find myself asking. What really makes your home, your home?
After talking to some of those people who made me feel that Columbus was my home, I came up with a few things that are essential to making any place feel like you are home.
1) Being with people that genuinely care for you - I think that regardless of where you are in life, everyone needs that group of people that will look out for them and support them in everything that they do. These people will also tell you when you are messing up and help you get through. These are also the people that you could call at 3am and know that they won't be upset.
2) Having a place where you feel the most at ease - Everyone has their safe haven. This is the place where they feel free to do what every they want and know that they will not be judged. For me, it is in my apartment. Maybe this is true because I know that it is my space and no one elses. I pay all of the bills, I live alone and I am responsible for everything that happens in that space and because of that, I feel a maximum level of comfort when I am there. For some people, a place of ease may not be the place where they rest their heads. For others it might be church, a community center, a band roon, an athletic field, and the list goes on an on. The one thing that is common is that everyone needs that place. Its a place where you can fully relax and think about your life. Being in my place of ease is so therapeutic. Without it I would go from the calm and casual guy that you know me as to the most stressed out person ever.
3) Having a vested interest in that area - This criteria is really more applicable to when you are labeling a general geographic region as home. For example, Midland, MI is now home for me. It is where I live and work so I have a vested interest in the community that I am in which contributes to the feeling of home. Some people may not like the regions in which they live but I believe that everyone in some way has interest in those places in which they reside. No matter of where you are, people have pride for the areas in which they live. In St. Louis, it was always a big thing to ask people what high school they went to, regardless or age, and no matter of how you personally felt about your school you would always represent for them because that school is apart of what makes you, you. This is exactly what I mean when I say a vested interest in an area. These places are what define your character and because of that, they hold a special palce in your heart and mind regardless of how you feel about the quality of life it provides.
I have heard many people say that home is much more than a geogrpahic location, this i believe to be true. However, I also believe that home must be grounded on some geographical foundation. I have heard people say that home is wherever my family or freidns are. To a certain extent this is true if you are saying this is where they reside or spend the majority of their time. However, the blanket statement of wherever they are is home is proposterous to me. If I am on vacation with my family, the hotel is not home. So by applying this restriction, home must be attahced to some real geographical location. The location that you all home may change from time to time but it is still a location and is part of what home really is.
After reveiwing some of the statements that I made, I ran into the thought that I can fulfill these criteria in multiple locations all at the same time. This is especially true now that my friends from high school and college are moving all across the country but I continue to stay in contact with them. As I was thinking though, home has a distinct combination of all three criteria that is unable to be reproduced in any other location. Because of this, home is home. I can have friends and fmaily in different parts of the world which makes that part special in its own right but its not home. It's not where I long for after a long day of work. It's not what I think to return to after an extended vacation. At the end of the day home is where I want to be and that makes home, home.
It is what it is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
