Home is Where the Heart Is...

I have to first apologize to anyone who actually reads this blog for not writing in about a month. All of this moving and starting a new job has kept me somewhat occupied. Regardless, I should have blogged. Sorry.

Now that is done, let's get down to the topic that has been on my mind.

What really makes your home, your home?

When I first got to college home was St. Louis, MO. That is where I grew, my friends were, my immediate family resided, and was all that I knew. As college progressed, I found myself labeling vists to St. Louis as visiting my parents and labeling returning to Columbus, OH as returning home. Now that I have moved permanently to Midland, MI (at least for the foreseeabl;e future). My apartment is starting to feel more like home. I feel the most ease when I am in my apartment and resting on my loveseat. With all of this transformation, I find myself asking. What really makes your home, your home?

After talking to some of those people who made me feel that Columbus was my home, I came up with a few things that are essential to making any place feel like you are home.

1) Being with people that genuinely care for you - I think that regardless of where you are in life, everyone needs that group of people that will look out for them and support them in everything that they do. These people will also tell you when you are messing up and help you get through. These are also the people that you could call at 3am and know that they won't be upset.

2) Having a place where you feel the most at ease - Everyone has their safe haven. This is the place where they feel free to do what every they want and know that they will not be judged. For me, it is in my apartment. Maybe this is true because I know that it is my space and no one elses. I pay all of the bills, I live alone and I am responsible for everything that happens in that space and because of that, I feel a maximum level of comfort when I am there. For some people, a place of ease may not be the place where they rest their heads. For others it might be church, a community center, a band roon, an athletic field, and the list goes on an on. The one thing that is common is that everyone needs that place. Its a place where you can fully relax and think about your life. Being in my place of ease is so therapeutic. Without it I would go from the calm and casual guy that you know me as to the most stressed out person ever.

3) Having a vested interest in that area - This criteria is really more applicable to when you are labeling a general geographic region as home. For example, Midland, MI is now home for me. It is where I live and work so I have a vested interest in the community that I am in which contributes to the feeling of home. Some people may not like the regions in which they live but I believe that everyone in some way has interest in those places in which they reside. No matter of where you are, people have pride for the areas in which they live. In St. Louis, it was always a big thing to ask people what high school they went to, regardless or age, and no matter of how you personally felt about your school you would always represent for them because that school is apart of what makes you, you. This is exactly what I mean when I say a vested interest in an area. These places are what define your character and because of that, they hold a special palce in your heart and mind regardless of how you feel about the quality of life it provides.

I have heard many people say that home is much more than a geogrpahic location, this i believe to be true. However, I also believe that home must be grounded on some geographical foundation. I have heard people say that home is wherever my family or freidns are. To a certain extent this is true if you are saying this is where they reside or spend the majority of their time. However, the blanket statement of wherever they are is home is proposterous to me. If I am on vacation with my family, the hotel is not home. So by applying this restriction, home must be attahced to some real geographical location. The location that you all home may change from time to time but it is still a location and is part of what home really is.

After reveiwing some of the statements that I made, I ran into the thought that I can fulfill these criteria in multiple locations all at the same time. This is especially true now that my friends from high school and college are moving all across the country but I continue to stay in contact with them. As I was thinking though, home has a distinct combination of all three criteria that is unable to be reproduced in any other location. Because of this, home is home. I can have friends and fmaily in different parts of the world which makes that part special in its own right but its not home. It's not where I long for after a long day of work. It's not what I think to return to after an extended vacation. At the end of the day home is where I want to be and that makes home, home.

It is what it is.